Dear The Internet

Please shut up about Chuck Norris.

We get it.

Game of the Year #7: Fahrenheit (Xbox)

I feel a bit mixed about this one. Fahrenheit (a.k.a. "Indigo Prophecy") is the only truly original game in this list, and I feel a bit bad that it's only at #7. But with all of its flaws, and with "fun" being the primary factor in deciding Game of the Year honours, I can't in all conscience place it any higher, even though it's the most "worthy" game of the year, and I'd feel better about placing it higher up.

I've said a lot about this game - I even spoke on a panel about it. Basically, it's worth a look if you're interested in talking about games, or if you're curious as to where they might be headed. Heck, bits of it were even quite good fun. But it's not the future. Not just yet. It's overwrought, ridiculous and up its own arse. There: I said it. Its "I really wanna be a movie" pretensions grate on me, and the Simon-esque "interactive" cut scenes pretty much just serve to underline how pointless and misguided it is to try to make a game like a film.

On the other hand, it does a great job in providing the illusion of freedom of choice, while maintaining a (usually) well-paced narrative that's actually fairly linear. Not a bad trick. The use of multiple scripted cameras is a brilliant innovation. Bringing time-pressure successfully to an adventure game, and managing branching conversations in a satisfying and common-sense manner are also significant achievements, and to be applauded. The voice-acting is a bit better than usual, and the rest of the sound design is spectacular. Best soundtrack in ages. What's more, the game provides a compelling atmosphere, interesting characters, and a genuine sense of intrigue... for about two thirds of the game.

Sadly, the game's final act is an absolute turd. Dude, you got your "Matrix" in my "Twin Peaks".

It's one of those games I'm glad exists - there's a lot to learn from it, good and bad. It's adventurous, risky, and forward-thinking. That's all too rare these days. It's a game I'm glad I've played, but not one I'll play again. I'd recommend it to some of my friends, but not most of them. It's food for thought, and will be an interesting one to look back on when some of the questions it raises have been answered. I'm glad I'm not a reviewer. You could give this a 9 or about a 3, and you'd be equally justified. I paid full price for this game, and played it through to completion just for fun. I considered it a pretty good value, despite the fact I groaned and whined a bit in the last couple of hours. A mixed bag, then, but one I'm glad I opened.

Okay, okay

So I suck at picking the football results. Big deal.

In other news, I'm again finding myself wondering what this damned thing is for. There's overly-personal shit that I shouldn't post, and there's work shit that I can't post, so all I'm left with is this crappy, boring, not-quite-revealing-enough-but-too-personal-to-be-of-general-interest rubbish. Ah well.

I'll get back to the "Game of the Year" thing in a bit, just indulge me for a moment:

I'm totally eating better this year. Less crap, and just plain "less" generally. I've now got several more ways of cooking vegetables available to me, and have gotten into the habit of grilling stuff like chicken and fish for dinner, so I'm going to head into next Christmas leaner and healthier than I've been in a while. That's the plan.

I'm also being more active this year. Running's the thing at the moment, which I'm still quite enjoying, when I can actually motivate myself to do it. The first step out the door is arduous, but all the other ones that come after that are surprisingly easy. I might even look into doing something a bit more organised and motivating. If I can find a tolerable sport that I can play locally without killing or humiliating myself, I'll let you know. Don't hold your breath.

I'm going to create more and consume less. Less videogames, less telly, less buying shit. More writing shit down. Not this sort of thing, either. I'm taking two new approaches this year to ensure that more writing gets done:

1. I've got a schedule and a plan. I'm treating this more like work (where I'm actually quite organised, motivated and productive, as opposed to the chronically procrastinating sloth I am outside business hours). It's a project, and it'll have goals, a scope, milestones, and *fingers crossed* an end-product. I'm going to have something I can show someone by the end of the year. I'm not short on ideas; it's just prioritising my own projects against everything else in my life that's the trouble. Waiting for spare time fails because there simply isn't any.

2. I'm going to try longhand. That's right - you heard me. One of the biggest problems I have writing outside of work is making myself sit back down at the computer. To that end, I've bought a journal. You know - one of those cheap papery things that's all hardware. I'm not sure how the practicalities of this will suit the perfectionist in me, but there's something positive about having to always move forward when you're writing on paper, rather than being able to constantly re-edit sentence #1.

My final resolution for the year is to be a bit more of an arsehole. You heard me. Most of what I have to change in my life involves being tougher on myself, but I'm going to be a bit tougher on everyone else as well. I'm not going to go out of my way to be a jerk - just a bit more assertive. If I get pushed this year, I'm pushing back.

(Okay, I realise I've gone all livejournal on your arse, and this isn't really a blog entry, and there are no links or anything. Sorry. Er... I mean - too bad. Fuck you, arsehole ;P)

Football - Just seven games to go.

Well, three out of four isn't bad. Who would have guessed that Carolina could go to New York (well, New Jersey), and shut out the Giants? Not me, apparently. It was a boring game to watch - the poor old Giants were just completely outplayed. So much for that Manning vs. Manning Super Bowl, eh?

Predictions for the Divisional Round:

Seahawks
Bears
Colts
Patriots

Game of the Year #8: Burnout Revenge (Xbox)

Last year I enjoyed Burnout 3: Takedown a lot. This year, I enjoyed the only-very-slightly-different Burnout Revenge a lot, too... just not as much. You'll note it's lower on the list, and the overall quality of the games is also lower this year, but that's not to say that it's a worse game. Perhaps I've just grown a bit too used to the format now.

Although, truth be told, it actually IS worse in some ways. It's gritty and urban, rather than sunshine and bright colours, like its predecessor. This is always the wrong answer. The front-end is a bit worse than it used to be, and still much worse than it needs to be. Plus, you can hit same-way traffic now, which I don't really like. Skilfully weaving your way through traffic, knowing that one knock would do you in was the sort of nail-biting stuff for which I play these games. Barging invincibly through helpless traffic racking up "combos" and "trick shots" feels a bit goofy and brain-dead by comparison. Specifically, it feels like pandering to the lowest common denominator.

Okay, so it's a bit churlish to complain about that sort of thing, when the game is a bit of a guilty pleasure to begin with. It's based on crashing cars, for goodness sake - it's fundamentally really, really stupid. But that's fine, so long as it's fast and fun. Which it still is. Also of note is the fact that no game pats you on the back more than this one. Frustration is not a factor - every little thing you do unlocks trophies and cars and little movie sequences in which the game showers you with praise. If it's cheap, cheerful, easy thrills you're after, this isn't a bad choice at all, even if it's not quite so fresh as last year's effort.

Oh, but the soundtrack is still one of the worst in gaming. Yecch. You've been warned.

Mr Crusher, lay in a course for awesomeness. Warp 6...

Engage.

Game of the Year #9: Resident Evil 4 (Gamecube)

No, you didn't miss #10 - I really do think that only 9 good games came out this year, and 8 of those were derivative sequels. Ouch. It's the worst year for gaming since 2001, and would have been the worst in a lot longer, if it weren't for the humble DS, bless its soul.

Resident Evil 4 gets the #9 spot, but only just. You've read in all the reviews how it's a wonderful reinvention of the series, and I guess it is. Mostly, however, it looks really pretty, lets you kick, shoot or stab the heads off things, and fixes a few control and camera issues that have plagued games of this type for far too long. I raved about this game in the first couple of weeks, but with some distance from it, I'm prepared to admit that it's fairly ridiculous, intermittently frustrating, repetitive, and unengaging on any but the most visceral, lizard-brain, kill-or-be-killed level. I really couldn't give a crap about the girl with the short skirt, or that bloke with the accent, but I was a bit freaked out when the dude with the bag over his head sawed me in half with a chainsaw. You get the idea. It's one of those.

Predictive?

I'm generally pretty happy with my mobile phone. But here is a list of the words that it thinks I want to use, when I'm attempting to enter the relatively common word "card", using predictive text:

care
case
base
acre
bard
bare
barf
cape

Come on. "Bard"? "Cape"? What are you trying to say about me, phone?!

Wild Card Weekend - Predictions

Redskins
Patriots
Giants
Steelers

(Forgive me, I've been a bit football-obsessed this season. It'll be over soon. Bear with me.)