It's Getting Voldo In Here

If you've got a decent connection speed, this really brings the funny. Honest.

A totally self-indulgent and uninteresting load of old bollocks.

Alright. So I'm planning on getting some shit done this year.

Work's work. I can't really talk about what I'm working on at the moment without getting into trouble, so I won't. Just on the off chance, you know? But I think I'm getting better at working a little bit smarter, and the many little bumps along the way are rolling off my back more easily than ever. I also feel like I'm developing a thicker skin and getting a bit more professional about how I'm working - I just hope that's not at the expense of the creativity that actually makes the work worthwhile, both to myself and to others. I'm much less stressed, at any rate, and I'm hopeful that I can squeeze in some side-projects throughout the course of the year. You know, the stuff that you can actually take pride in, and makes enduring the bread-and-butter stuff worthwhile.

One of the things on my plate at the moment is coordinating the local IGDA chapter, as I've probably mentioned before. I'm still not entirely sure why it's important to me that this is a success, but it really is. We just had our second meeting on Tuesday, and it was pretty well attended, and moderately well received. Some of the organisers seem to be losing steam, but a couple of others really came through with the goods. So it's a mixed bag. I just hope we can keep the momentum up - if the organisation is functioning properly, I think it's something that people will actually be quite grateful for.

And then there's conferences and stuff. I'm angling to go to GDC this year, and it's looking like I should actually be able to go, with any luck. I've also just been invited to do another seminar at Game Loading, one of which I did last year (and which I'm told was quite well received). Something like 200 people paid $8 each to come along and listen to me talk about what I do at work, which kind of freaked me out, even if quite a lot of them were students, and their teachers probably made them come along. Game Loading is run by the Australian Centre for the Moving Image, which is a fantastic organisation, who I hope to have more to do with in future. They're a great bunch of people, who seem to actually have the right sort of priorities with which to approach the emergence of new forms of art and expression. I truly do hope and believe that games will one day be considered in this light, although we're not quite there yet, in my opinion.

I'll probably also do something for Freeplay and AGDC again. If they'll have me back.

So anyway, my point is this: on the one hand, I'm getting pretty active in game development, in a broader sense than just what happens in this one little studio. That's kinda neat, and helps me feel a bit more connected to something larger and more important.

But at the end of the day, I don't really feel like it's why I'm here. I used to want something else out of life, and while I'm pursuing short- to medium-term goals, I can feel the long-term ones slipping through my fingers. Perhaps it might be better to back off a bit. I'm really not sure.

At the end of the day, I sometimes feel - not like a fake exactly, because I honestly believe I do good work, and I am passionate about it - but a bit like Happy Gilmore. You know, the failed hockey player who takes to golf instead. Shitty reference, but bear with me. He's good at it, but it's not really where he's at. Putting with a hockey stick isn't really that different to trying to write a novel for the Playstation 2, perhaps.

So I've got to face facts. I think I've had a pretty successful run, so far, in games. Some things I've worked on have turned out a little bit average, but I don't think it's ever really been my fault. On the other hand, I've never really been able to write anything that I've been even remotely happy with. I've had the odd thing published here and there, but nothing major or very satisfying, and nothing at all for ages. But it's what I feel I ought to be doing. This is probably the most pretentious thing I'll ever say, but I actually feel it's what I *am*. But I never do it, these days. And it's partly because I'm busy, and it's partly because I'm afraid, but I fear that it's mostly because I've settled.

What I do at work is creative enough to drain me (the last thing I want to do is sit down at a word processor when I get home), but not creative enough to actually satisfy.

So which is the delusion? Am I a game designer, who needs to just forget about the book he felt he was always meant to be able to write? I mean, I've started it dozens of times, and it always stinks. Or am I a writer, who needs to realise that what he's doing for pay now is actually a dangerous side-track, pulling him away from what's really important? How pathetic would it be to hang onto that delusion, based on nothing? How much more pathetic would it be to back away from something I'm doing well in to chase a pipe-dream that I may never be able to turn into a reality?

I'm pretty sure the "boots and all" approach is the wrong answer, in either case. So, I'm going to try my hand at a bit of small-scale writing this year, to sort of test the water, as it were. Not this rambling, conversational shit, or what I do at work, but actual writing. Concise stuff that's actually worth reading. That's the goal.

A friend of mine approached me to contribute to a new magazine-like project that's starting up in Melbourne soon. I think I'm going to throw myself at it a bit this year - when something comes along that really fits the bill, out of the blue and just at the right time, that's the sort of thing you've got to pounce on.

I'll let you know how I get on, if it goes well. If it goes badly, I'll probably just sweep it under the rug. You know, along with all the other stuff I've fucked up over the years.

Either way, I'm hoping it'll answer some questions for me.

I suck.

Man, everyone's doing better than me at this whole blogging thing.

My second-best mate Ian (for whom I have no link at present, sadly) has actually written a blog good enough that someone's publishing it as a book. He's also now got two other books on the go, as a result. Dammit.

My other second-best mate Honey is doing a bang-up job on her blog, dealing with the big issues in a serious, sensitive and altogether awesome way. First rate. And a heartily recommended read.

Phew

Just between you, me and the lamp-post, I'm kinda pleased that Top Ten thing is over.

For one thing, I've wanted to post other stuff here, but haven't wanted to break the continuity. Plus, I've had to wait until I'm in the mood to rave about a particular game before I can post it, so this whole process has taken longer than I thought it would, even though I've only spent about 10 minutes or so on each actual post.

Plus, who cares what I think, eh?

Oh, and I've taken the hit counter thingy off the site. It was playing up a bit, anyway, and I guess I could always get another one, but I'm not sure I really want to know who's reading this. I think I'm better off just shouting into the void, as it were.

I'm also at the point now where I want to rethink what this is all about. Basically, I've posted semi-random thoughts about videogames up until now, and there are a couple of reasons for this.

1. The main reason for doing this, at least initially, has been to get into the habit of simply writing something down every so often. Even at this modest task, I've only managed partial success.

2. I don't really want to write a journal of my feelings, wants and desires. Or tell you about my friends and what they're up to. That's of interest to nobody. The only people that would want to read it are the people who it's about, and more often than not you're going to end up pissing those people off anyway.

3. Thinking and writing about videogames is pretty much what I do all day anyway. It's my job. So I don't really have to shift gears too much to jot this stuff down, and I've always got plenty of material. As I say, I really just wanted to get into the habit of writing *something*, so I figured it was easiest to stick to something fairly close to home, at least to start with.

So, there are several ways I could go with this. On the one hand, I'd really like to try my hand at writing some fiction in blog form. Just to, you know, get those mental muscles going. The readership for something like that would almost certainly be zero, though, so I might just start up a whole separate ficiton blog, just to try it out, for my own benefit. As I say, I think it's getting into the habit of writing frequently that's the all-important first step to actually achieving something worthwhile on that front. It's as if you've got to push through volumes of shitty words, getting them out of your system, before you can squeeze out the few precious good ones that you have deep within you.

On the other hand, I'm still arse-deep in videogames, and increasingly involved in talking at conferences and thinking about them more broadly, along with actually making the suckers. Perhaps something of a more general interest (at least within game development) would be to start to write pieces more resembling articles. I'm not sure how scholarly they'd be, but there are certainly aspects of gaming and game design that I think are worthy of more serious discussion than they get, and these are topics on which I most definitely have opinions. Opinions which I usually wave around at conferences, in lectures and at panel discussions and all that, but which I never really set down in any enduring sort of way. Perhaps this is the correct format for something like that.

You're always welcome to comment, of course, but if you've got anything to say about this issue, I'd particularly appreciate a little feedback.

#1: Burnout 3: Takedown (Xbox and PS2)

Alright. Now we're talking.

I've had little luck explaining the appeal of this game to people. So I won't waste too many keystrokes attempting to do so here. But pretty much everyone (with the exception of the missus, I have to admit) who plays it is pretty much blown away. It even appeals to those who claim to hate racing games. Because most of it isn't one.

There's something truly inspired about the design of this game. They've taken the essence of what people enjoy about racing games, and distilled it down into its pure, freebase form. They've then removed all the boring annoying and unnecessary bits, that you always thought you couldn't do without, until you play this game and realise that you don't miss them at all.

I'm speaking in general terms here, so let's get a bit more specific. There's no fannying about with the way your car is set up. The cars aren't based on real ones. The physics is fairly, er, imaginative. You don't lose more than a few seconds for crashing, and you can always make the time back up later, by driving well. So, it's "realism" that's missing, basically. And some of the complexity.

So what are you left with? A game that concentrates on speed, aggressive driving and collisions.
"Speed" just doesn't seem to cover it. This game is the fastest I've ever seen, by a long shot. F-Zero and Wipeout look like a Sunday drive by comparison, much as I love 'em. You will actually get dry eyeballs over the course of a long race, because to blink is a luxury you can't afford while playing Burnout 3.

And when it all comes together: drifting through oncoming traffic, picking your way through the high-speed blurs that screech past you, while nudging the rival car brushing up against you into the upright support of an elevated train track as you careen though a pile of boxes and out onto the highway... frankly, that's priceless. There's no game that can match it for pure "in the zone" bliss-outs, adrenalin, honest-to-goodness impression of speed, or just out-and-out fun.

It really is just that good. There's nothing complicated or clever on offer here, just a whale of a time. And that's good enough for me. It's games like this that remind you of what it was like to pick up a controller for the first time, and why gaming as a medium is worthwhile and interesting. It's not about character development, narrative, weapon-balance, customisation, non-linearity, or any of that guff. It's about cool shit happening all around you, and enjoying being in total control of it - amazed at what you can do in this imagined but totally absorbing world. And for this jaded old hack, Burnout 3 brought that childhood sense of astonishment, wonder and excitement flooding right back.

I can't recommend this game highly enough. This is the one game of 2004 that you absolutely and without question MUST play. It's as simple as that.

#2: Halo 2 (Xbox)

Well, I've already talked about this game a little bit here. I'm not sure how much more I really ought to say.

Halo 2 is just the complete package, as far as I'm concerned. I don't buy into criticisms that it's not innovative enough, or not significantly different to other, similar titles. Fact is, no other game combines all the things that make Halo 2 great into such a comprehensive, fun, coherent and all-around wonderful package. I'll be playing it for a while.

Half-Life 2 has got it beat in terms of graphics. And physics. Let's face it: Half Life 2, on a decent PC, looks a whole generation better than Halo 2. But since when has that been important? The fact is that Halo 2 simply bristles with gameplay, which is what really counts. None of the things that annoy you in other FPS games are here. All of the things you enjoy about them *are* here, though: in spades, improved, and complemented by a few extra, uniquely Halo touches.

It's more fun than a barrel of monkeys, it's got high production values, loads of content and a unique feel, and it really does keep rewarding you the more you play and the better you get at the game - a promise that a lot of games make, but few truly deliever on. What more could you reasonably ask for?

#3: Sid Meier's Pirates! (PC)

The original Pirates! was one of the best games ever. No question. It was lightyears ahead of its time, with free-roaming, non-linear gameplay, the ability to pick and choose your allegiances, and a simple but dynamic system of economics and diplomacy that kept the simulated Caribbean in a constant state of flux. You could make your influence felt, certainly, but there was always the sense of a whole world going about its business all around you. The game combined action, strategy, exploration, trading and diplomacy in a way that had never been seen before. It was quite remarkable, and it ate up hours, days and probaly even weeks of my time, over the course of the several years I kept coming back to it.

What's perhaps even more remarkable than the fact that this sort of game hadn't been seen before is that this sort of game hasn't been seen much since, either. Until late last year, when the remake was released. For the most part, it's the same game, which is absolutely fine by me. You still sail around the Caribbean, pillaging, plundering and looting, wooing Governors' daughters, swashbuckling and digging up treasure. And all this stuff is still totally awesome. You still get the sense of total freedom, and can pursue whatever objectives you choose to set yourself, making and breaking allegiances as you go.

The biggest change to the game is the way it looks, obviously. It's beautiful. It's not Half-Life 2 or Doom 3, but don't even try and tell me that this game doesn't look stunning. Rather than realism, they've gone for a slightly fantastic take on the Caribbean of the 1600's, and a beautiful, soft-lit, storybook atmosphere. It works brilliantly. For an example of the blend of the realistic and the fantastic, take the way that when you're sailing around, you can see not only your ship's reflection in the ocean, dolphins swimming past, flags and sails fluttering in the breeze, and so on, but also the names of the bodies of water and land masses printed right on them, in the manner of a nautical map. It's brilliantly done.

The action sections of the new game are great. Duelling is still a lot of fun, and the ship-to-ship battles are better than ever. The sneaking and the town battles are a little slow, perhaps, but still work well. They'd be what I'd criticise if I was looking for a nitpick. New to the game is dancing, which is actually the most challenging of the action sequences, but a lot of fun (with some of the best rewards in the game) once you get the hang of it.

I should probably also mention that along with providing a sterling atmosphere, the improved visual presentation has a couple of other side benfits as well. The main one being increased playability. You can pick up sailors and cargo that have been knocked overboard by a broadside from an enemy ship. You can read news from friendly passing ships without having to break gameplay. You can see ships sailing back and forth and going about their business all over the map, without having to switch to your spyglass to scan the horizon - ship types, the flags they're flying and sometimes even their cargo or mission are all visible to you as they approach. You can also zoom in and out on the map, in real time, at any time. Not only does all this allow gameplay to be faster, smoother, more intuitive and more consistent (and hence more absorbing), but it also increases the sense of a vibrant, living world in which you can play, which already came through loud and clear in the admittedly crappy graphics of the original. There's really nothing like it.

I can't properly explain in words why this game is worthy of your time. But I'm sure that most people I know would be mesmerised by it, if they gave it a chance. Sail around, choose your destiny, make a name for yourself across the Spanish Main, and generally live the life of a pirate. Comandeer ships, or sink them. Buy low and sell high, shipping cargo between ports, or just ambush a trade route or treasure galleon, and take what you need. Hunt down villains and free lost relatives from their captors, or search for Incan cities of gold. Retire your pirate once he reaches old age, and see how he lives out the rest of his days. Then pick a different nation and/or time period, and do it all again. Live the life.

#4 The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay (Xbox)

Alright, so this one also wins an additional bonus award for "most cumbersome title". But hey - it's still a superb game.

This game is the very definition of a dark horse. A game based on a film, for one thing. And a film that nobody liked, for another. Plus, most of us hadn't heard of the developer (Starbreeze). There was no way that this was going to be a good game. But somehow, it came out of nowhere to be an absolute A-grade ball-tearer.

This is one of the best looking games you'll ever see, for one thing. It's simply beautiful. It also features some superb cinematic elements, and not the sort that get in the way of gameplay. The atmosphere is totally absorbing and completely believable, thanks to the game's immaculate and immersive presentation, top-notch voice acting, and consistently realised and intricately detailed setting.

This isn't one for the kids to play, incidentally. It's brutal, violent and sweary. In a good way, I guess, but only for the grown-ups. Given the game's prison setting, and the apparent status of playable character Riddick as something of a bad-ass, it'd destroy the illusion somewhat if the game *wasn't* violent and sweary.

I tossed up putting the game in this slot, or a couple of notches below, but really I think it deserves its #4 billing. There's so much that it does, and it does it all so winningly, with so little fanfare, that it's one of those games I get excited talking about down the pub. It's a little short, admittedly, but it's an experience that'll stay with you more than some far longer and more epic feeling games. If it's any indication, I started my second playthrough immediately after I'd finished the first one, without even getting up to go to the toilet. That should give you some indication as to how much I enjoyed it. There were some missions I hadn't completed, that I wanted to go back and do, but mostly, I just wanted to live the game's experience a little bit longer.

The game's essentially a jail-break story, and as such it's tight and lean, and well-paced. Sort of like the best action movies are. Don't expect War and Peace, in other words. The game's billed as a first-person shooter, but there's really quite a bit more to it than that. There are whole stretches of the game where you won't be able to use a gun, for instance. There are adventure game elements, with lots of conversation, plenty of stealthy bits, where you sneak around in the shadows, and hand-to-hand combat, which is actually done very well indeed - far better than I've ever seen hand-to-hand combat realised in any other game played from the first person perspective.

Subtle but important design choices add even more to the game's sense of polish and immersion. You can see your character when he climbs ladders and uses health stations. When he's crawling around in the dark, you can not only see his legs and arms (where appropriate), but also the shadow he casts. There's no HUD to speak of. The gritty, low-tech feel of the game makes itself felt throughout - your health is represented by simple white boxes that only appear to let you know you're taking damage, and weapon selection is achieved by simple, temporary icons. Ammo, where it needs to be displayed, can be seen on the gun itself. These sound like trivial things, but they all add up to create a real sense of being there. It's the experience as a whole that's paramount here - far more than any one of the well-realised game mechanics they've implemented.

Put simply, I've never played anything like this. It'd be a real shame to miss out on it, so long as you don't mind a bit of biffo every now and again.

#5: Half-Life 2 (PC)

It's perhaps somewhat telling that I feel that I need to explain - not why this game is worthy of inclusion on this list, but why it's only at #5. That's the sort of regard in which Half-Life 2 is held.

So, obviously, it's a great game, by any sensible measure. Play it. Technically, it's without peer. It features some stunning scripted gameplay sequences, the most convincing characters in any game ever, some absolutely priceless moments (Dog + Gravity Gun, anyone?), and the plot and atmosphere is top notch.

There were, however, a few games that I liked a bit better than Half-Life 2 this year, despite all that. A lot of the appeal of Half-Life 2 comes from its presentation. And that's the sort of "wow" factor that simply doesn't last. It's a perfectly-paced game, with a lot of variety, and plenty of meat on its bones. The physics system is extraordinary, and gives rise to some thoroughly satisfying and enjoyable puzzles. But, okay. The enemies are a bit dumb, and a bit dull, for the most part. And the weapons (with one major exception) aren't that interesting or fresh. The save system, the health and shield system, the weapon management system - all these things seem downright old-fashioned. And the vehicle action has definitely been done better elsewhere. So, it's not my game of the year. Don't get me wrong - it's awesome and exciting, and I plan to play it a whole lot more. You should too. But don't, perhaps, believe quite *all* of the hype.

#6: Sly 2: Band of Thieves (PS2)

A triumph of style and personality. Though it's technically impressive and beautifully designed, it's the art direction and character design of Sly 2 that really makes it a winner. The game is simply a joy to play from beginning to end, and although it won't last you forever, and mightn't be something that you keep coming back to, it's a ride you ought to experience.

It's the best character action game of 2004 (and one of the best ever), and definitely a must-play. If you enjoyed the first game, you're bound to love it. The newness (mostly the ability to play as the other two members of the Cooper gang, and a revamped mission structure) delivers a bit of variety and rejuvenates the whole experience, while still retaining the atmosphere, style and core gameplay that made the first game so amazing. If you haven't played the first game, pick it up cheap and play both of these. If you played the first game and didn't enjoy it, then there's little hope for you, I'm afraid. Go away.

#7: Outrun 2 (Xbox)

Yet another game that's not getting nearly enough love. Sega's sequel to perhaps the most seminal arcade racer of all time is one of the best games of the year, and no fooling. Those that didn't think so simply didn't "get" the game.

There's no realism on offer here, but there is speed, and beauty, and fun. Oh, and variety, challenge and longevity. And an arse-kickingly good soundtrack. Just try to get Magical Sound Shower out of your head.

I paid full price for this game (I bought it for myself as my birthday present this year), and consider it excellent value for money. Due to its dismal sales, however, you can now get it for around half-price in most places. If you don't get it, you're a bloody idiot. It's not going to worry the creators of the Gran Turismo or Project Gotham series, but it provides a wholly unique, stylish, fascinating, and absolutely refreshing alternative. It's also one of the few games that I can pick up and play just for the hell of it - spurning its many challenges or goals in favour of simply having yet another blast through the arcade mode. Great stuff.

#8: Puyo Pop Fever (Multiple Platforms)

Now here's an absolute gem. It came out near the start of the year, and has been getting very little love in the "Game of the Year" stakes, but it's an absolute pearler. It's the best puzzle game ever, in fact. The addition of "Fever" both improves on the previous best puzzle game ever (Puyo Pop), and completely alters the strategy. But don't fret - you can still play "Classic" Puyo Pop as well. So it's sort of like two games in one. Brilliant multiplayer, easy to learn, but with loads of strategy and depth - this is the puzzle game for me. Better than Tetris, Puzzle Bobble, or anything else. Seriously.

You should be able to get this for just about any of the console, handheld, or computer platforms you may have. It should be cheap for most of them, too. I've got the game on Xbox, which cost me a measly $50 Australian. The game won't keep you up for too many all-nighters, but you will keep coming back to it, well... forever. Seriously - don't miss out on this game.

#9: Katamari Damacy (PS2)

Now, I haven't actually had that much time to spend with this game, but I couldn't not put it on the list. It's thoroughly original, has an astoundingly good soundtrack (seriously - get hold of the CD, if you can), and it's a whole lotta fun. It's impossible not to smile while playing this game. Sensational stuff.

Now, we just need to cross our fingers for a PAL release.

(Fat chance.)

#10: Nothing.

But I would like to use the #10 slot to give out a special award.

#1 Most played of last year's games during 2004: Top Spin (Xbox).

This has got to be one of the best games ever. Yes, it's a tennis game. You don't care much for tennis? That's cool, neither do I. But play this game, and just try to find something to dislike about it. I dare you.

This game has brought on more intense rivalries and more heated matches than just about anything since Streetfighter II back in the day. It's the best offline multiplayer videogame ever, in my book. Get four controllers, and four people in a room, and play this. It's the shit.

Seriously.

Anyone can learn how to play in five minutes, but you'll still be figuring out subtleties several months down the track. That's pretty close to the definition of good game design, I reckon.

Top Ten Games of 2004

I'm going to do a list of my Top Ten games of 2004 now. Please indulge me.

A few things to note:

1. This is based entirely on how much I enjoyed the games in question, not on anything scientific or objective. So please don't be cranky with me.

2. I haven't played Ratchet and Clank 3, Metal Gear Solid 3 or Knight of the Old Republic 2 yet, and they all look like they'll be superb. Metal Gear games always sit well with me, but that and KotOR2 aren't out here yet. R&C3 is out here, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Sue me.

3. There is no #10. There were 9 stand-out games this year, as far as I'm concerned. To add in a tenth would be to include a game of significantly less worth than the other nine, which would cheapen the whole thing, I reckon.

So, here we go...

2005

Well, I was on holidays for a couple of weeks, and it seems like I took a break from the Internet as well. Sorry about that - I didn't mean for that to happen.

I'm feeling more or less refreshed and re-invigorated now, after two weeks of doing not very much at all. Which is a good thing. I won't go into any great detail with what I got up to, as there's nothing more boring than someone rattling on about a bunch of people you don't know.

However, I will list some things that are awesome:

1. Grilling. My sister gave me a grill for Christmas, and I'm loving it. We had a pair of chicken boobs for dinner last night, and they were quick, easy and great. I missed grilling.

2. That battle towards the end of The Return of the King. The whole trilogy is pretty sweet, and although there are a few things that bugged me about the film adaptation of some of my favourite books, on the whole it was a marvellous ride. But you can't beat the battle of the Pellenor Fields (sp?). The war elephants (sorry, Oliphaunts), the big wolf-shaped battering ram with the fire coming out of it, trolls in armour banging drums, an orc with a skull stuck on top of his head... Man. Now you're talking.

3. Gin and tonic. I took some time over the holidays to reacquaint myself with a dear old friend, and it was a warm and pleasant reunion. Try one with a wedge of fresh lime. Go on. You deserve it.

4. The Midway Arcade Treasures compilation discs. Buy 'em cheap, get comfy in your beanbag, and you've got hot and cold nostalgia, on tap.